Saturday, August 23, 2008

Unplanned break

P8155027, originally uploaded by torri_g.

After being Mom for so long to my girls I should know better than to celebrate feeling a little bit better, because there is always a second round coming for me. I tried to keep going this week, and actually made it through more than I thought I could, but blogging just didn't make it on any list. I'm hopeful that the worst of it is really behind me now, and that over the next couple of days I will stop feeling so very drained and get this house back in order.

It has been an emotional week on top of everything else. Binky Sue had an IEP team meeting to plan her transition of her senior year and per our deal I let her take the lead and make her own choices for this. For 14 years it has been my job to fight for the best for her so letting go was not all that easy of a task for me. We of course had to hear about the fact that by law I am the one they look to for everything till she is 18, but Binky Sue smiled as her Mom explained that it is time for her to take the reigns of it. My Binky Sue did a great job of sitting and explaining her point of view about which way she would like to see things go, and listened to each member of the team as they got to weigh in their votes for this year. I found myself sitting listening and watching this young woman and feeling so proud of her. Every word she spoke about her plans for herself, every question she asked of the team. Binky Sue may swear up and down that she isn't ready to grow up yet, but let me tell you something...she is already there. I'm not sure how and I'm not sure when, but it is there. Binky Sue wants final testing done to see where she is standing, if there is need for a 504 or IEP she will go with that, but if not she is ready to say good bye to the years of special education and move forward. No matter what from here on out she is in control of this aspect of her life, Mom is taking the passenger seat from here on out. Of course once all testing is done and time for the next meeting I will advise her and answer questions for her, but Binky Sue will set her next course.

This week also has brought various levels of upsetting news most of which I won't go into here. It is enough to say that my thoughts are with several different people right now. Family though is at the center of my prayers. For my Mom to have the strength to make a difficult decisions, which as a Mom myself I do not envy. I think I have done my job as a daughter and listened to her tears, and hopefully said words that will help to give her strength. I know I did a good job of keeping my opinions to myself because this subjects tends to irritate me beyond belief and I don't always stop myself before I say something that hurts her feelings, but this week I kept it under control. Be strong Mom, like I said I know you know what it is that you have to do, and I hope that you will have the strength to do it. There was news today about Army Guys Uncle Don, which has put us into talk and planning for possibility of him making a trip home. There is always the hope that things will change, but the reality of the news is these may be the last days. I ask for prayers, good thoughts, good wishes, whatever it is that everyone believes in. I know this is short in details but it is all that I really think needs to be shared.

I will try to get back into the swing of things this week here. Who knows maybe I will even have energy to pick up my camera again this week and get out and about for some picture taking. I hope that everyone is having a good weekend spent with those you love. Have a wonderful Sunday and hopefully I will be back with a Sunday Sibling post to catch everyone up on all things here in Arizona.

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