Thursday, September 10, 2009

Thinking Thursday...A journey to stop smoking

IMG_6692, originally uploaded by torri_g.

Well, another week done and time to share how it has gone. My hopes last week were to be able to come here and say that I had not smoked at all, but also said the reality was I didn't know how it would go and was just going to take it one day at a time. One day at a time got me to today and past the one full week point of not smoking! Today is day 10 to be exact. I'm happy, I'm excited, I'm hopeful, I'm glad that I think I have finally adjusted to everything that the medicine can toss out at me for side effects. I know I'm not done yet with this journey, but it sure feels wonderful to have such a great start going here.

Yesterday I was a little worried that I was going to miss my 10 mark because I kept thinking about wanting one so much, but I managed to distract myself just enough. The difficult part is the distraction from the urges. As a smoker I've never really given it any thought as to why I wanted a cigarette, I just did and would have one. This time with the quitting I have tried to pay very close attention as why I suddenly want one. I can honestly say that a lot of it is just because of habit. First cup of coffee in the morning meant smoke a cigarette. Yes I actually had to drop that morning cup of coffee for a couple of days to break that one. In the last three weeks since starting this I have noticed a lot of things that I do that just some how over the years became connected with it. The hardest one to deal with though is going to be the thought "I need a cigarette because I'm mad". It isn't so much that I need the cigarette, that was the timer for the time out. I like to take a time out before I go off the deep end screaming at someone, the cigarette urge was my time out that would keep me from doing that. It was a deep breath...a deep unhealthy breath, but a deep breath none the less. What I have noticed in the last week is that urge is going to be my most difficult one to deal with. Mom's lose their tempers when kids or husbands don't seem to hear them till they are to the point of yelling. To avoid that yelling the urge would hit and I would take a time out. Now the urge hits and I'm trying to ignore it and it just keeps getting worse and so is my mood. It is the one urge that I'm probably going to work on the hardest to figure out a way around, and since I don't think the kids selective hearing is going to suddenly go away, I will be working on this one quickly.
Wow! I think I just made myself sound like a real witch there, but it is the real witch that I'm trying to avoid. Besides I said I planned on being totally honest about things during this journey. Anyway, that is about it for this week. Monday I go see Ms. K for my new box of medicine and to check how I'm doing and I can not wait. Again I thought all week for a reason why and I'm still just coming up with Because I want to. Actually after making it 10 days without smoking, now it is because I really want to do this.

I hope that everyone has a great Thursday.

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